Monday, October 11, 2010

Diving in: National Coming Out Day

I have never been one to "wade into the pool". I am more of a "jump off the diving board" kind of a girl. So that is what I will do here.......(Hope I don't lose any friends)

Today is National Coming Out Day.

My heart is torn.

I don't understand the lifestyle. Maybe because I have never had feelings for another chica.

I love.

I understand love.

I get love.

I love my husband.

And lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender peeps love their partners.

I don't get it. But I also don't see what there is to get.

Its love, right? Isn't that the point?

I know a lot of bisexuals, a lot of lesbians and even a few F to M's. And I don't like them any less (or any more) than any of my straight friends.

Yes, I am a Christian. Clearly I have indicated that from the title of my blog.

So here is why I am torn: I know that it is a sin. But why?

And what part is the sin? Just the physical act? Or is the emotional attachment a sin as well?

Let me take a trip down memory lane, would you like to join me?

I am 16 and head over heels in love for the first time. This guy is perfect. We were friends before we dated. He loves horses. We ride together. He introduces me to country music. We go to Spring Dance together. We kiss. We hold hands. We write notes.

He is my first love.


His family decides to move to Colorado. :-( I am devastated.

At 16 we are wonderfully mature (HA!) but at least we are smart enough to know that at 16 a long distance relationship is just too much to expect of each other and of ourselves.

We decide to go back to being friends. The way we started.

It works. For the next 2 years we write letters, talk on the phone and take trips to see each other. Sure we kiss (when we aren't dating other people) and we hold hands and we cuddle when we see each other but for the most part we are just that: friends. Best friends.

We still are.

We don't talk nearly as often as I wish we did. But I know that if I am screwed at 3:17 AM in a back alley somewhere all I have to do is call.

Flash forward to college: a phone call.

Guess what, he is gay. Am I surprised? Not really. Does it change how I feel about him? No way.

Andrew was my first brush with love. And I treasure our friendship.

So I guess that is a long way of saying, why (as Christians) do we feel the need to publicly condemn homosexuality. Why did we choose that sin? Why not lying, cheating, ADULTRY (come on Christians, have you ever been unfaithful)?

God doesn't see GLBT as any more or less sinful than you. Its not like there is a "Sin Scale".

Does anyone out there feel the same way I do?


No one told me who I could and couldn't love. I would be LIVID if they did. So I don't feel the right to tell anyone else who to love.

Nor do I think their rights should vary from mine. If you want to take your chance on love, sign that dotted line, pay your taxes and say "yup, we are married", why should anyone have the power to say NO.

No one tells me what sins I can and cannot commit, so what gives "the powers that be" the power to decide that??

Which me back to my original question: Why is it a sin? What makes it a sin? Why is one kind of love a precious gift and another considered a sin? I don't get it.....

And while I am sure I did...I didn't mean to offend anyone. Wow, what a great choice for a first blog post....*sarcasm*

Pa'a ka waha...


  1. Holly, this is perfect. It's simple, sweet, and reflective. Love should be universal with no cutthroat rules about who we should love and why we shouldn't love. Thank you for posting this.

  2. i am so with you sister! i just like to treat others as i would like to be treated and live a life of not judging others. the world is cruel enough. love you! btw, i need your address and your mommas!

  3. Alrighty, so I'm going to test your "you can say anything on this blog" idea. :)

    I believe in the 10 commandments, but the rest of the bible gets kind of sketchy for me. I have a problem with the fact that some of it was written hundreds of years after the death of Jesus, and by men who were not infallible. I believe the Anti-Homosexuality in the bible is a construct of man, not God.

    I believe God is Love and that genuine happiness here on earth will get us closer to Him. To live without spite, or hate or jealousy is, I believe, is what Jesus was sent to teach us.

    If being with another Man or with another Woman is what makes those people happy I believe that is what God would want for them and we as other people have no right to tell them that they're not allowed.

  4. Can't add much to that.

    Seems to me that who we love has simply become another political hot potato that allows politicians to avoid real issues and spend their time legislating morality, on God's nickel.

  5. Holly Ann This may or may not help you out but the bible also says you are not to eat shellfish.
    Leviticus 11:9-12
    These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

    Deuteronomy 14:9-10
    These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat: whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

    Love Chris

  6. Well, I'm with God on the shellfish thing. :)
    But on a more serious note, I'm glad everyone that has commented has done so with an appreciation of other people. Who cares who loves who, as long as their happy.

  7. Hello my Sweet One
    I was mesmerized by you the day you were born and I continue to be. I am so privileged to be your Mom, and I'm so proud of you I can hardly stand it. Keep asking the hard questions of the heart and He who blessed you with who you are will answer them for you as you are ready......and in the mean time, we can sit together way into the night, with a nice glass of wine, and share the insights and opinions that we have...and laugh at silly videos! I love you Holly Annie-NEVER stop asking the questions! That's how you gain wisdom my precious.Maaa-Maaaaaaa