Wow,
I never thought there would be so many people who cared about what I had to say.
Pretty cool.
On a personal note:
No, I am not a parent, nor have I ever been one. But I have been a nanny almost 8 years now.
Today my little girl that I cradled in my arms as an infant turned 3.
Wow.
Has it really been 3 years? I took some time tonight to look at old pictures.
I cried.
Somehow, in the blur of the past 3 years, she went from a tiny infant who couldn't support her own head or hold her own bottle to this potty trained little conversationalist.
She is so smart. (I know every parent says that) But she really is very intelligent. (but given her gene pool I am not really surprised, her parents are both brilliant).
I am floored every day at the new things she does and the things she learns.
I adore her.
I can't even imagine what it will be like when I have my own.
Happy birthday, Princess, you are so loved.
Pa'a ka waha...
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Diving in: National Coming Out Day
I have never been one to "wade into the pool". I am more of a "jump off the diving board" kind of a girl. So that is what I will do here.......(Hope I don't lose any friends)
Today is National Coming Out Day.
My heart is torn.
I don't understand the lifestyle. Maybe because I have never had feelings for another chica.
I love.
I understand love.
I get love.
I love my husband.
And lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender peeps love their partners.
I don't get it. But I also don't see what there is to get.
Its love, right? Isn't that the point?
I know a lot of bisexuals, a lot of lesbians and even a few F to M's. And I don't like them any less (or any more) than any of my straight friends.
Yes, I am a Christian. Clearly I have indicated that from the title of my blog.
So here is why I am torn: I know that it is a sin. But why?
And what part is the sin? Just the physical act? Or is the emotional attachment a sin as well?
Let me take a trip down memory lane, would you like to join me?
I am 16 and head over heels in love for the first time. This guy is perfect. We were friends before we dated. He loves horses. We ride together. He introduces me to country music. We go to Spring Dance together. We kiss. We hold hands. We write notes.
He is my first love.
Andrew.
His family decides to move to Colorado. :-( I am devastated.
At 16 we are wonderfully mature (HA!) but at least we are smart enough to know that at 16 a long distance relationship is just too much to expect of each other and of ourselves.
We decide to go back to being friends....best friends. The way we started.
It works. For the next 2 years we write letters, talk on the phone and take trips to see each other. Sure we kiss (when we aren't dating other people) and we hold hands and we cuddle when we see each other but for the most part we are just that: friends. Best friends.
We still are.
We don't talk nearly as often as I wish we did. But I know that if I am screwed at 3:17 AM in a back alley somewhere all I have to do is call.
Flash forward to college: a phone call.
Guess what, he is gay. Am I surprised? Not really. Does it change how I feel about him? No way.
Andrew was my first brush with love. And I treasure our friendship.
So I guess that is a long way of saying, why (as Christians) do we feel the need to publicly condemn homosexuality. Why did we choose that sin? Why not lying, cheating, ADULTRY (come on Christians, have you ever been unfaithful)?
God doesn't see GLBT as any more or less sinful than you. Its not like there is a "Sin Scale".
Does anyone out there feel the same way I do?
Confused?
No one told me who I could and couldn't love. I would be LIVID if they did. So I don't feel the right to tell anyone else who to love.
Nor do I think their rights should vary from mine. If you want to take your chance on love, sign that dotted line, pay your taxes and say "yup, we are married", why should anyone have the power to say NO.
No one tells me what sins I can and cannot commit, so what gives "the powers that be" the power to decide that??
Which me back to my original question: Why is it a sin? What makes it a sin? Why is one kind of love a precious gift and another considered a sin? I don't get it.....
And while I am sure I did...I didn't mean to offend anyone. Wow, what a great choice for a first blog post....*sarcasm*
Pa'a ka waha...
Today is National Coming Out Day.
My heart is torn.
I don't understand the lifestyle. Maybe because I have never had feelings for another chica.
I love.
I understand love.
I get love.
I love my husband.
And lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender peeps love their partners.
I don't get it. But I also don't see what there is to get.
Its love, right? Isn't that the point?
I know a lot of bisexuals, a lot of lesbians and even a few F to M's. And I don't like them any less (or any more) than any of my straight friends.
Yes, I am a Christian. Clearly I have indicated that from the title of my blog.
So here is why I am torn: I know that it is a sin. But why?
And what part is the sin? Just the physical act? Or is the emotional attachment a sin as well?
Let me take a trip down memory lane, would you like to join me?
I am 16 and head over heels in love for the first time. This guy is perfect. We were friends before we dated. He loves horses. We ride together. He introduces me to country music. We go to Spring Dance together. We kiss. We hold hands. We write notes.
He is my first love.
Andrew.
His family decides to move to Colorado. :-( I am devastated.
At 16 we are wonderfully mature (HA!) but at least we are smart enough to know that at 16 a long distance relationship is just too much to expect of each other and of ourselves.
We decide to go back to being friends....best friends. The way we started.
It works. For the next 2 years we write letters, talk on the phone and take trips to see each other. Sure we kiss (when we aren't dating other people) and we hold hands and we cuddle when we see each other but for the most part we are just that: friends. Best friends.
We still are.
We don't talk nearly as often as I wish we did. But I know that if I am screwed at 3:17 AM in a back alley somewhere all I have to do is call.
Flash forward to college: a phone call.
Guess what, he is gay. Am I surprised? Not really. Does it change how I feel about him? No way.
Andrew was my first brush with love. And I treasure our friendship.
So I guess that is a long way of saying, why (as Christians) do we feel the need to publicly condemn homosexuality. Why did we choose that sin? Why not lying, cheating, ADULTRY (come on Christians, have you ever been unfaithful)?
God doesn't see GLBT as any more or less sinful than you. Its not like there is a "Sin Scale".
Does anyone out there feel the same way I do?
Confused?
No one told me who I could and couldn't love. I would be LIVID if they did. So I don't feel the right to tell anyone else who to love.
Nor do I think their rights should vary from mine. If you want to take your chance on love, sign that dotted line, pay your taxes and say "yup, we are married", why should anyone have the power to say NO.
No one tells me what sins I can and cannot commit, so what gives "the powers that be" the power to decide that??
Which me back to my original question: Why is it a sin? What makes it a sin? Why is one kind of love a precious gift and another considered a sin? I don't get it.....
And while I am sure I did...I didn't mean to offend anyone. Wow, what a great choice for a first blog post....*sarcasm*
Pa'a ka waha...
Let me introduce myself, and explain what I am doing here.....
Hi!
I am Holly.
Why am I starting a Blog?
I am glad you asked! Because, frankly, I am a talker and I have a lot of opinions.
Why Confused Christian Cowgirl?
Because those are the bare bones of me: I am at the deepest level 3 things:
A Christian
A Cowgirl
And Confused
There are a lot of things in this world that I am sure about:
1. I know that air conditioning is the greatest invention ever
2. I know I married the man that God chose for me
3. I know that there are TONS of amazing people in the world
4. I know I would make a great actress
But there are a lot of things in this world I am confused about:
1. Why we don't have some kind of "U turn" signal (Like a turn signal) on our cars?
2. Why there aren't breathalyzers on every car sold in America?
3. Why can 18 year olds go to war and not drink a beer to say farewell?
My blog is basically going to be a stream of consciousness.
I will ask questions and pose thoughts. No one, I repeat NO ONE is to be judged for something that they respond to on my blog. I WANT everyone's thoughts and feedback. That doesn't mean that we will always agree and it doesn't mean that there won't be fights. I am sure that there will be.
But here it is: Me
All I ask is that you be kind and respectful of others. Giving your opinion doesn't mean you have to degrade someone else's.
Kisses to all!
Pa'a ka waha...
I am Holly.
Why am I starting a Blog?
I am glad you asked! Because, frankly, I am a talker and I have a lot of opinions.
Why Confused Christian Cowgirl?
Because those are the bare bones of me: I am at the deepest level 3 things:
A Christian
A Cowgirl
And Confused
There are a lot of things in this world that I am sure about:
1. I know that air conditioning is the greatest invention ever
2. I know I married the man that God chose for me
3. I know that there are TONS of amazing people in the world
4. I know I would make a great actress
But there are a lot of things in this world I am confused about:
1. Why we don't have some kind of "U turn" signal (Like a turn signal) on our cars?
2. Why there aren't breathalyzers on every car sold in America?
3. Why can 18 year olds go to war and not drink a beer to say farewell?
My blog is basically going to be a stream of consciousness.
I will ask questions and pose thoughts. No one, I repeat NO ONE is to be judged for something that they respond to on my blog. I WANT everyone's thoughts and feedback. That doesn't mean that we will always agree and it doesn't mean that there won't be fights. I am sure that there will be.
But here it is: Me
All I ask is that you be kind and respectful of others. Giving your opinion doesn't mean you have to degrade someone else's.
Kisses to all!
Pa'a ka waha...
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